They have just released a list of the best books of the century.
My book is not on it. In their defence my book is neither written nor published.
Still I feel a pang of disappointment at an opportunity missed.
We are only twenty years into the century so there is still time.
And being honest I think their list is a little premature.
Although perhaps after this point we are stopping books.
They have heard that on twitter and I have not.
Because I was not on twitter that day or didn’t follow the right literary society.
Perhaps I should be running out and stock piling books right now because not only are there no more to be written there are no more to be printed. It might be about the trees.
It might not, maybe there’s just a government decree.
I look around at all the books I own.
Will this be enough? I look at my unread pile.
It will be enough.
It will certainly be enough.
What is going to happen to all the authors?
Some will be ok, some have made enough to survive but what about ones like me who haven’t churned out their great novel yet?
Or maybe they are going to rationalise?
Perhaps everybody is allowed one novel apiece and this was simply the last list where it was a free for all. Perhaps right now they are allotting single novel slots and I am missing out. I need to follow twitter more closely.
I sit looking at the list of great novels. I am unsure what to do. Unsure who to call or where to turn. What is going on out there? How can I find out? This was the very morning I was going to start my great novel. And now I have no idea what to do.
This might be the end of my writing career. The one I haven’t started yet. I need coffee. I look nervously at my phone. No notifications. Silence. That is probably because my notifications are switched off. Should I switch my notifications on? How do you even do that? I look at the computer screen. I bring up a new word document. There is no way you can make that phrase sexy or interesting. That isn’t just me, its just not possible.
I stare at the screen.
At the blank page.
Mild panic. I don’t know what to do.
I am only certain of one thing.
Today is not the day to start my novel.
I go downstairs and have that coffee, congratulating myself I have not wasted time on writing anything.