‘You have been identified as a bot.’ I will just be – in an organic way. I’m scared…read more
‘You have been identified as a bot.’
I look at the words again.
Me, a bot. I am real. Human. The whole thing is so ridiculous.
My head is reeling from this. My palms are sweaty. I am not a bot. I am a real person. How else would my palms be sweaty?
I have heard of this happening before. I know how it works, everyone does. What I can’t get my head around is that is happening to me. Usually someone has used a filter badly or overdone the photo shopping on some holiday pics. It all gets sorted doesn’t it? In the meantime their whole life is suspended. Their pics go into Trash although they aren’t actually deleted. Conspiracy theorist say its done because the internet is full and they need to manage the space. I don’t think that’s true.
This is just the first notice. The rest comes afterwards. It’s meant to give me time to prepare myself. I just sit and stare at the words in disbelief. ‘You have been identified as a bot.’ How? This is just the warning. I say it aloud-just the warning. The full notice will give me the reason for my identification as a bot. I rack my brain trying to think.
Have I overdone the photo shopping recently? I haven’t uploaded any photo and claimed its someone else have I? Plus they must consider everyone is shaving off the extra pounds at the mo-how else do you get into negative size clothes? I am meant to be a size minus six-which incidentally is not that small because the sizes are all screwed up now. The smallest you can be-according to the internet is minus 22-no one is a plus size anymore-at least not on the web. I’m not sure how we got into negative sizing.
Maybe I uploaded too many pictures of scenery or objects. I think again, how long since I put up photos of an actual meal. There was that meal out last week? Did I post that? Did everyone else post that and not me? Did I comment on how good it looked? Did I comment on how it tasted-comments on taste are a sure sign of a bot -no one, even me very drunk would be foolish enough to comment on how a meal tastes. It’s all about the look and the location. Taste is secondary-or whatever is lower than secondary.
How can they think I’m a bot? I am sure I posted a picture of that meal and it looked great.
The notice will give me a time and a place and I will have to turn up and prove I am human. It’s difficult. I know that. Lots of people fail. It’s a horrible procedure.
They are terminating bots you see. The bots are taking up a lot of internet space as it turns out. Its not a conspiracy though. Its just people write them, release them and they just keep going. Like locusts-whatever they are. Do people release locusts? I no longer have internet so I will never know. What even is internet space is-MB, GB, GGBs-are they a thing? I can’t even ask a simple question like that.
I need to look at my social media history. I need to and soon, so I can handle whatever questions they ask me, but every account is frozen. It’s like I don’t exist anymore. How will anyone know how good my life is if they can’t see it in pictures. Is my life good, if it’s not actually properly documented on social media? I have no idea how that works. OMG I won’t be invited anywhere now. I might have to start again. ON some kind ‘I have no friends, please like me site’. My worst nightmare. My life is fab, I know my life is fab. Only last week I could prove it and today I can’t.
Today I am not real. Even the step-counter on my phone has stopped working. If I am walking and no device is counting my steps, am I even walking at all? Have I walked? I have no idea.
What could have caused this? How could I have been identified as a bot? Did I use an odd password? Have I used the same password too often? Have I set up one too many email accounts? Maybe I over ordered concert tickets. That must be it, I bought 4 tickets because 4 of us are going. Raven said it would be safer to buy two lots of two, but I insisted it would be ok to buy 4. Could that be it? Maybe it’s a combination of things. I will have to go to her house, -without sending a text first. Fuck, how will I even do that? How will I even know how many steps I have taken to get to her house. The only thing that works on my machine now is the thing that will down load the full notice. I will need her help to remember stuff. What if I am a bot? Now even I am not sure, she will know. I need to go and see her, she will know, for sure.
What did I order at dinner last week? Did I like the sauce or not? Did I drink a cocktail at the wine bar three weeks ago? Do I have old school photos on my web page? How many friends do I have online? What pictures did I post from my last holiday? What meal have I liked the most this year? What emoji do I use the most? Who’s pictures do I like the most? What date did I start following person x on platform y? I have no idea. These are the kind of questions I will need to answer to prove I am not a bot.
Why can’t they just test me for organic material-the trouble is that’s not enough. Its bots testing for bots, and they know that the same organic human has turned up to pose as a bot before. No -they test your knowledge of your own life based on your social media activity. They have an infinite archive of your data and you have to remember it. It’s an impossible task. Most people who are identified as bots are –there isn’t even a word for it.
I wished I’d made notes or something-how would you even do that. I have a friend who does that-she has an app for it-as if that would help right now. It’s all frozen. I can’t even catch a bus.
If you are judged a bot-that’s it-your entire social media identity, every account, every email address, every photo, everything just deleted. You no longer exist. And if you don’t exist on digital, do you exist at all?
What would I do? How would I meet friends? God my whole life – just deleted. As if I never existed. Perhaps I don’t. I have no idea what to do. I should have kept some kind of copy or something. I should have backed up or something.
I will just stop existing. I will be deleted. I will just be- in an organic way. I’m scared.