amphitheatres

I don’t like big crowds so Agri and I had found ourselves a spot right at the top of the steps. The steps were enormous. This was an amphitheatre,  a big cement structure where the steps doubled as seats where everyone sat.  

We had climbed to the top and taken a seat, not on a step but on the very top of it, the bit that was the wall. We could look down over the back and see the grass way down below us. We had sat there for half the day, in the sun, drinking.  Water-we weren’t delinquents, watching the music and laughing and just enjoying our Sunday. We were best friends, neither of us fitted in much with anyone else, and this was a treat for us. I normally hated events like this but this was my favourite band.

It was late afternoon and we were getting ready to go home, because it had just finished. There were people already leaving. The ones at the bottom, who could easily escape, had started to gather their things and move off. I put my bag on the top, where I was still sitting. I sort of twisted around to grab my bag. I guess it was hot and I was excited but also it was finished and I just momentarily lost concentration. Maybe I was momentarily stunned because I hadn’t really thought about quite how high up we were.

As I twisted, my tote bag kind of flung free, maybe I knocked it. I saw it leave the surface, and everything in it, fly through the air. I grabbed for it but it was too late. I looked at Agri, who’d seen it happen but she looked frozen.

I shrieked, at least I heard a shriek so I assume it was me. I got to my feet and started running down the steps. I had to get to my bag. My stuff was splayed out everywhere on the lawn below. They were massive steps because they weren’t normal steps, they were meant for people to sit. I could see Agri, she had finally reacted and gone the other direction and was making her way down.

I was doing the same, pushing and shoving my way and mumbling ‘excuse me’s’. No one seemed to hear or move but I shoved on. I had to get to my stuff before someone else did. It had landed on the grass, away from the path, but someone must have seen it fall and would no doubt claim my phone and my money.

Agri had made it to the bottom by then and she was running in my direction. People seemed to be moving for her, whereas I felt like they were blocking me. She somehow got ahead of me. I shouted her name, but she didn’t seem to hear.

I could see her just ahead when I reached the bottom as she turned to go through the tunnel and out. I called her name again, but there was a lot of noise and she didn’t seem to hear. I could see people clearing the way for her, but not for me. I pushed on. I guess she was the pretty one.

I made it through the tunnel, out onto the grass. I was sure I was going to be bruised from being squished against the walls in the tunnel. I could see Agri still running ahead and then someone grabbed her and stopped her. I could hear her screaming and crying. I didn’t understand why. It was my bag although I had her favourite lipstick in it I suppose.

It took me a moment to take in the whole scene. There was Agri in some strange mans arms. There was my bag on the grass. And there was someone else lying there with people around her.

I recognized my shoes. I saw my shoes. And then I knew. I could hear the paramedic talking, feel her arms on my chest. And for a moment I was in that body, and it was racked with pain, all broken and bloodied. I heard her say it ‘Hold on, stay with me’, but I was so horrified. There was so much pain, blood. I could feel it leaving my body. It hurt, everywhere and there was just no way.

And I could hear Agri screaming and the man still holding her. I could see my phone and my bag and the lipstick and my cards all splayed on the grass and me. I could see me. And I could feel me and it hurt. It hurt everywhere.

‘Hold on’ she said again. But I didn’t.  I didn’t want that pain. Poor Agri, hope she got her lipstick back. I let go. I turned around and went to find where the dead people go.